by Miles Behn

Finally, Shonda Rhimes has returned to rule over our Thursday nights (albeit, somewhat clumsily). Last night, HTGAWM returned with so much lying and mediocre acting, I can’t really tell who’s deceiving who anymore. Does your fake crying look that bad because you’re a miserable actor, or because your character’s pretending to cry while you’re miserably acting? Tomato, tomahto.

Before the hiatus, we left our shitty law students covered in metaphorical blood. Wes had murdered Sam, bashing him in the back of the head after Sam’s (indestructible, superhero) body survived being launched over a stair rail. The study group then disposes of the body, while the writers pepper the episode with (boring) potential future conflict; Michaela loses her ring, every one calls everyone without thinking about cell phone tracking (I reiterate, shitty law students), DNA is everywhere-it’s a disaster. We find out Annalise is in on the murder, and, GASP, the episode ends.

TL;DR: boring, boring, slightly less boring, boring. Good thing I’m still watching.

We return this week with “Hello Raskolnikov,” titled after the protagonist of Crime and Punishment. I prefer to call the episode, “I-was-an-English-major-here-let-me-show-you-I’ve-read-classic-literature.” The episode opens on Annalise’s police interrogation, cut with shots of her getting ready in front of the vanity. The parallel is clear-for women our battle armor is our appearance, and we will go into our fights with fresh faces, expertly applied. We see the first lies of the episode as Annalise feigns innocence in her husband’s “disappearance,” and already things are spiraling out of control. One thing is clear, however: Annalise is pulling the strings. And I don’t hate it.

There is a brilliant moment for Davis as Annalise finds Sam’s body, bloody and lifeless, on the hallway floor. Annalise mourns for him, despite all that he has done to her. She screams, desperate to touch him, her fingers tensing as she knows her DNA would point the blame toward her. Already she is thinking, planning ahead, playing the game.

The next day, the study group hovers outside Annalise’s house, jumpy as the police investigate the office and Sam’s disappearance. They argue about next moves, expertly discussing their recent murder in front of twenty or so police officers. But they’re whispering, so no one can hear them.

Wes and Rebecca lie in young-adult-romantic bliss after Wes’ interrogation (which proves awkward and clunky as his acting ability skates between “over-the-top” and “really bad liar”). Rebecca’s convinced that Annalise knows, yet somehow buys Wes’ denial of her involvement. But maybe she’s also a terrible actress, and this scene is just bogus. Probably the latter.

My favorite fedora-less menimist, Frank, guilts Laurel about her lack of gratitude after he returned the trophy to Asher. Laurel fires back her anger about Frank’s girlfriend, and he responds with the perfectly sleazy “a long distance girlfriend.” Ah yes. Is this a poor attempt at polyamory? Is Frank just a gross scum bucket in a (deceptive) “open relationship?” Please, someone tell me Frank is a joke. He has to be. Thankfully Laurel shuts him down, and they don’t share anything physical in the episode. Probably because the porch is out of commission.

For some strange reason, Annalise decides to tell Frank all of her secrets. Maybe there is some false sense of security in his fake gangster vibe. Whatever the reason, it comes back to haunt Laurel just a few scenes later. I reiterate: self-righteous scumbag joke.

Thankfully, in the chaos of terrible acting and gross MRAs, Viola Davis shines. After successfully acquitting Rebecca by pinning the murder on her husband, Annalise locks herself in the courthouse bathroom, holding back tears behind the stall door. Two women arrive after her, mirthlessly discussing the case and Annalise’s “animalistic heartlessness.” Annalise yanks open the stall door, walks forward, calmly washes her hands. The two white women stand with mouths hanging open, shame taking their voices. It’s a stunning, near wordless scene.

Then we’re back to the shitty baby lawyers having a major freakout. As they head toward the police department steps ready to confess to everything, Annalise and Frank menacingly get out of a car (gangster Frank’s idea, I’m sure). Annalise promises to help them all get away with murder. AHAHAHAHAHA. I get it.

The episode wasn’t great, but it wasn’t terrible either. We’ve got a lot of set up for future episodes, and a decent amount of deception in between. The confusion can give us some good blindsiding down the road, should the writers maintain tension. (I’ve got 20 bucks saying they can’t.)

Also, let’s just take a moment to slow clap for suspension of disbelief in this show. First of all, one of her students is dating her client. Secondly, a lawyer’s husband is the accused murderer in her case. This is clearly grounds for her dismissal (has no one heard of conflict of interest?). But as we’ve already said, Shonda Rhimes is not exactly one for believability. So give your suspension of disbelief a pat on the back. It’s been working overtime watching this show.

We end with Annalise presenting her class with a “hypothetical” case that is eerily similar to the one the other students are currently facing. How exactly do we get these people acquitted, you ask? I suppose Shonda Rhimes will tell us, by bashing us over the head with it. (Pun intended.)

Favorite quote:

Bonnie to Asher, after he tells her he can’t stop thinking about their night together: “Try harder.”

Miles Behn is a writer and blogger living in Minneapolis. She currently runs the blog Staving Off Disaster. Follow her on Twitter, @milesbehn.

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