Dear The Stake,

I am a pretty good person, who generally cares about the right things. I also really want to see Jennifer Lawrence’s naked pictures. I think she is pretty and I want to know what she looks like when she poses privately in the nude. I also want to see what it looks like when Justin Verlander and Kate Upton are naughty while naked. It’s true that I never cared about seeing these things before, but that was before pictures like this were online. Now these picture are available to me, for free, at any moment I choose to search for them, and I really want to look.

It’s true the internet is full of women and men who intentionally are nude and engaged in basically every sex thing imaginable, but I want to see these famous people because I’ve seen them in movies and stuff. Mostly I’m just really curious. No one will get hurt if one more person looks at them. Why shouldn’t I look?

Let me know,
Horny self-justifying male.

Dear Horny Self-Justifying Male,

Thanks for your letter. So, you, like millions of others out there on the world wide web, want to look at the celebrity photos recently released online? I get it. I’m a person; a male person in fact. Curiosity holds great power over our brains, perhaps second only to sexual desire. Combine curiosity towards celebrity with the sexual desire potential found in this trove of celebrity nude photos, and the yearning to look is powerful. Maybe you already have? Maybe you’re feeling a little guilty but want to see more?

Either way, the question, then, is why shouldn’t you?

Well, there’s legal reasons. These photos are stolen property. Some of the young women might even be under 18. Remember, these are not leaked images, as so many want to describe them. They are stolen property, and possession of stolen property is illegal. But we all know that this is illegal. Every person who shares or links to one JLaw or Kate Upton or Kirsten Dunst nude pic already knows the behavior is illegal. Still, the internet has never really cared much for arguments of legality.

So, why else shouldn’t you look?

Because it’s wrong you fucking asshole. You know it’s wrong. That’s why you’re asking. That’s why you use your incognito browser option. That’s why you are reading story after story about looking at these pics, about the theft itself and the search for the thief, and even, in some cases, starting skeezy charity donation funds for lookers. You are increasing your self-justification experience points (probably already at max) until it is possible to operate with full conviction that you are not perving or anything, just satisfying genuine curiosity.

Just to see what the big deal is, right, not to debase and objectify the women in the pictures…just to have a look.

Resist that urge, Horny Self-Justifying Male. It isn’t actually that difficult to be decent. Just consider what it means to steal from a stranger, to break any and all trust with women that deserve to be respected and deserve a private life (which is all women), and then don’t do it.

In this instance, specifically, you could try to remember just how wonderful and talented is Jennifer Lawrence. She’s gifted and respected and deserves more than to be reduced to stolen nude pictures. She’s only 24 years old and already Lawrence has won an Oscar, two Golden Globes, a BAFTA, an Independent Spirit Award, Kid’s Choice Award (for “Female Butt Kicker,”) three MTV Movie Awards, a National Board of Review Award, two SAG Awards, and basically every film critics circle award in America.

The talent that Jennifer Lawrence possesses in her professional work demands that you do not insult her and abuse her private life. This is true of every person who was a victim of this theft. Hope Solo, two-time Olympic Gold Medal Winner, and winner of the Golden Glove at the World Cup, deserves to not have you look upon her private life for your own sexual satisfaction.

Of course, awards have nothing to do with any of this.

Gabrielle Union and Kirsten Dunst and Justin Verlander and Dave Franco deserve to have private lives. And Kate Upton and Mary Elizabeth Winstead and every woman and man whose public achievements has made them a celebrated part of our culture deserve to have private lives.

This is true of every stolen image on the internet, whether the subject of those photos is rich and famous, or not. Perhaps the subject of the photo you are looking for is a young woman from your high school who took a picture and sent it to a boy in trust and that boy broke that trust and shared it with the internet. Don’t look at it. Be Decent. Don’t be an asshole.

That a photo exists does not make it public. That is exists does not make it part of our shared culture or the bargain the rich and famous make with the public. That bargain is something we made up to justify our bad behavior, so much of which now lives on the internet. All lives are not meant to be exposed and shared because someone on 4Chan can steal whatever they want. And, even if some one does steal such things and share them, it’s possible something can be on the internet and you can still choose not to look at it.

Remember, in the end, what the price of admission gets you: An opportunity to experience the work of an actor or model or baseball player or soccer player. It does not grant you admission to the private life of a stranger, who is, despite what your curiosity or sexual desire may tell you, a human person deserving your respect. A ticket for The Hunger Games does not grant admission to the private life of Jennifer Lawrence.

Don’t be an asshole.

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