I didn’t go to San Diego Comic Con and odds are that you did not go either. San Diego is a long way from home, and Comic Con costs gobs of money. But did you really want to go anyway? Yeah. Me too. It’s probably rad. But it’s also likely very hot and full of very expensive food and collectibles I don’t want anyway.

When you are not at Comic Con, the news rolls out of the building so fast and furious from those in attendance that you cannot possibly keep up. The practice I recommend during its run is tuning out the entire thing. I tend to wait it out, and when the whole thing is over, go back over the myriad articles and lists and best of’s at the 10,000 foot level and look at the broad strokes.

Which I have now done and compiled for your non-attendance review. What kind of pop culture site would we be if we did not have a Comic Con roundup?

From DC Comics:

We saw a glimpse of the first-ever big-screen Wonder Woman. Played by Gal Gadot, Wonder Woman will be appearing in Zack Snyder’s upcoming Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice.

It seems Wonder Woman will be standing atop an erupting volcano.

DC also released its first look at Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice itself, with the release of a 50-second long teaser, which was then apparently bootlegged by one very gutsy attendee. That bootleg leaked. People online at that moment saw it, and then it disappeared into the vapor of digital detritus.

No doubt it featured a very dour Batman looking sullenly at an unemotional Superman standing against a gray-ish backdrop of like a city with empty streets or some such thing. This is Zack Snyder after all.

Now, Marvel:

Marvel Studios announced their movie release schedule until 2019. As of now it includes zero films dedicated to a female hero but there are many open spaces (apparently five (seriously 5!!!) Marvel films will be released between May 2017 and July 2018). If they cannot find room for one in that slate, I’d be shocked.

Still, the lack of female-anchored films even ready to announce today is lame, and was something many feared in advance of Comic Con. Some folks speculate that there might be a Captain Marvel title in the later years, but for now that’s nothing but hopeful speculation (I hope it’s Katee Sackhoff). For now, we can expect that the Comics-to-Movies properties that have succeeded will continue to be reproduced in like fashion, peppered in with an occasional new character (Doctor Strange) to bide the time until Thor 3 or Captain America 3 or Avengers 3.

Speaking of Avengers, Marvel also released some footage from Avengers: Age of Ultron. Everyone seems to think it was just fucking amaze-balls, but we schmoes who didn’t make the trip to San Diego won’t be seeing that footage any time soon. Alas. This picture of the Avengers fighting robots and stuff will have to suffice.

Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn announced he will be directing a sequel to the yet unreleased Guardians of the Galaxy. This is pretty much the only piece of Comic Con news I caught on Twitter over the weekend. Here’s what I think about the news:

The wheels-falling-off-of shitshow that has been Marvel’s Ant-Man reportedly calmed a bit with a panel that featured the film’s new (non-Edgar Wright) director, Peyton Reed, as well as Studio Boss Kevin Feige, Ant-Man himself Paul Rudd, old-timer Michael Douglass, and newly revealed cast-member Evangeline Lilly. I like Ms. Lilly; that’s cool news.

Okay. Moving on.

Game of Thrones season 5 will be the first season without an episode written by G.R.R. Martin. Apparently he’s busy. Said Martin: “I have this book I have to finish.” No shit.

Also, Game of Thrones bloopers.

I am in love with The Hunger Games movies, the living role they’ve taken up in our global culture as well as their general kickassery, and thus perhaps the best SDCC arrival was the trailer for Mockingjay Part 1. Behold:

 

Fox released a 4 minute “trailer” for a Simpsons and Family Guy cross-over episode. I think this is a stupid idea and frankly it’s beneath The Simpsons to welcome the Griffins into their home. But what I think doesn’t matter, here’s the trailer (it’s underwhelming).

 

In addition to these few notes, there were about 12,378 trailers released, and movies announced and on and on, but that’s about all the pop culture updates I care about from Comic Con. But it’s not the only news worth caring about.

Finally, and most importantly, Cosplay ≠ Consent protests were held outside Comic Con, in an effort to draw attention to the widespread problems of sexual harassment that accompanies Con attendance and Cosplaying for so many women. The campaign was organized by Geeks for CONsent, which also chronicles harassment accounts from women at cons around the country.

Geeks for CONsent have asked for more explicit sexual harassment language in the SDCC policies, as well as better training for employees on how to identify and react to harassment when it occurs. This is a mega-important issue for Cons to address and some, like Awesome Con in Washington, D.C. and Emerald City Comic Con in Seattle, have provided models for others to do so.

There’s no excuse for any Con to ignore the prevalence of convention harassment. Cosplay includes an element of fantasy, and that fantasy combined with a protective environment like comic conventions can lead to dark places for some women, and lead others not to attend at all. Take it from Wil Wheaton: cosplay is not consent.